Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bitter Heart.

I've been single for err.. let me count first.. more or less 3 years. It's been quite long time since my last relationship... which was ended bad (poor us). At first, i thought that it would be hard for me.. for being single. But, as time passed away, i found that being single wasn't that horrible.. at least until few minutes ago. What things come to my mind are, what exactly do i want? What exactly do i need? Simply, what kind of man do i really want to share the rest of my life with? What kind of relationship do i want? ..... and i find the answer.

I'm just not ready to be in a relationship, serious one, i mean. I'm too afraid of changing my mind easily. I've had numerous relationships that didnt' work out. There have been couple stories, at first I like him, but at the end, which is took just few time, my mind and also heart changed and said "NO, I'm not into him, why should I agree to be in a relationship with him?" And it's easy to guess, it's over, again and again.

On the other hand, many stories, I felt in love with wrong guy or ... (sometimes maybe) wrong time. I just don't know why I often fall in love with him/them. At first, it was so lovely. And easy to guess, at the end, it hurt so bad.

My closest friend always tell me, don't go out with the man who asks you just because you want a boyfriend or status, you name it. People in your position, being single for such a long time, tend to do that. And I don't want you trapped again and again in the same case.

... and poor me, she was right.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.
(Bitter Heart - Zee Avi)

1 comment:

Unknown said...

setuju. betul itu, bkn krn status. tp tiap hubungan bth komitmen akhirnya. tnp komitmen, awalnya u suka, lambat laun.u jadi ga suka krn bosan. hubungan bth logika, cinta&komitmen, diawali cinta/suka, pilih dgn logika terakhir komitmen. *maaf kl sy sok tahu